Riding the Waves (PJO and HoO) : Chapter 9

I hate nightmares.

You know the ones where fear engulfs you completely and you can’t move or scream? This one was like that, only ten times worse.

I was back on…that beach. I lay pathetically on the sand as Hayden hacked and slashed at the monsters trying to protect me. She looked determined, angry, and terrified all at the same time.

From beneath us, a woman laughed lazily. It didn’t sound like Amymone. The voice was colder and crueler and older. Her laugh penetrated through the earth and hit me with a chilly blast. My heart went into overtime.

Hayden hefted her axe, ready to strike the jeweled bottom into the sand. I tried to stop her—scream, move, anything that would prevent her from doing the move that would end her life. But I couldn’t move. All I could do was watch helplessly.

She struck the ground.

The earth beneath us shattered like glass, and we fell into darkness.

I fell. And fell. Wherever I was, it was a million times worse than shadow travel. Colder, darker, lonelier. Dread tugged at my center, trying to tear me apart. My thoughts were clouded by fear and hopeless.

I tried to call out for Hayden, but my voice still didn’t work. I couldn’t even see her.

The woman from before was taunting me as I fell. Her word floated around me like a chill, never hitting my ears.

Wind whistled in my ears, like the whispers of the dead. Somehow, I sensed that the ground was quickly approaching. I clenched my eyes shut, preparing to hit the ground.

I hit the ground …and passed straight through the earth.

I shrieked, which sounded like there was cotton balls stuck in my throat. I was trapped inside an earthen tomb of sharp rocks and wet soil. The earth itself was clutching me tight, making it hard for me to breath. I struggled uselessly, scratching myself up in the process.

“Keep fighting, little hero,” the woman said mockingly in an eerie sing-song voice. Her voice came straight through the ground, reverberating off of my bones. “Soon you will see that it is all hopeless. Fighting is useless.”

The earth shook violently, rocks and dirt falling on me, crushing me…

~*~

I woke up in a familiar bed in a familiar room. A dude with shaggy blonde hair sat in a chair next to me reading a book with a guy in a suit holding a glowing book.

“Déjà vu,” I muttered to myself.

Will Solace jumped. He grinned. “You’re awake!”

“I hope so.”

I tried to sitting up in the bed when a sharp pain shot through my left arm. I whimpered (rather embarrassingly) and fell back on the bed.

“Careful,” Will warned me. He helped me into a sitting position and handed me a small glass of nectar. It felt weird in my right hand. “You broke your arm really bad. I healed it, but it’s still going to be pretty sore.”

I took a sip of nectar through the straw—it tasted like fruit punch and birthday cake. I grimaced, not because of the taste, because it reminded me of my last birthday at the beach: Hayden laughing as I chased her, trying to nail her with half-eaten cake. I convinced her to get onto my surfboard with me as we paddled out to sea. She freaked out when a huge wave crept up on us, and then we both laughed hysterically after it wiped us out…

My throat felt like I had swallowed a billiard ball.

“I heard what happened,” Will said, noticing the pained look on my face. “I’m really sorry about Hayden, Kaia,”

I nodded, blinking back tears threatening to escape. “How’d you guys find us?” I winced. “Me? I mean…”

“It was actually Annabeth and Percy who found you. They—”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Chiron came in, his horse half compacted into his wheelchair. When he saw that I was awake, he smiled.

“Good, good,” he said. “You’re up.”

He pulled his chair up to the side of the bed and put a hand on my knee. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got run over by a conga line of semi-trucks.”

Will and Chiron told me the whole story. After Hayden and I were separated from Argus, he let Chiron know what had happen (though how he did while he was mute, I had no idea).Chiron had Annabeth use her video shield to track us down after they couldn’t contact us via Iris Message. They guessed that there was some sort interference around us, but no one could figure out what caused it and why.

“You were unconscious for two whole days,” Will continued. “In that time… the meeting in Olympus went on as scheduled.”

Anger flared inside of me, threatening to burst. “Seriously? They didn’t bother to wait until I was awake? They didn’t even need me to be there?”

Will looked at me sympathetically, like he wanted to say something though wasn’t sure what.

“Sometimes, it is difficult for the gods to be able to convene at one place all at once,” Chiron told me. “The council ruled in your favor. They decided that your life would be spared.”

My shoulders slacked, as if a bunch of weight I had forgotten about had just fallen off my shoulders. Anger and guilt replaced it almost immediately. My chest felt hollow.

I swallowed. “That’s… that’s great news, Chiron. I…”

Chiron looked at me sadly. He started to say something, but I tuned out his words. I stared down at the haft empty glass of nectar. It was as if my insides were being eaten away. My eyes stung.

A shiver ran through me, reminding me of the dream I had. I had the urge to tell Chiron when something stopped me.

It was just a dream, I reminded myself. Dreams don’t mean anything. I was just being paranoid.

Still, I couldn’t shake off the cold feeling or how the earth was squeezing me to death, or the sound of the woman’s voice.

~*~

The first and only funeral that I’ve ever been to was my grandfather’s. It was in a church; with mourners all dressed black, flowers, and a casket. Grandfather looked so peaceful, like he was just sleeping. That still freaks me out.

Hayden’s funeral was nothing like that.

Since she had no siblings at camp, I volunteered to make her funeral shroud. I had no clue what I was doing, so some of the kids from the Athena cabin stepped forward to help me since they were the best weavers. It was a purple shroud (her favorite color) with black trim. Seaweed, the symbol of Thetis, was placed in the middle. It was beautiful.

Which made it all the more painful to burn.

As her closest friend, I was given the honor to light her funeral pyre. Between using my weaker arm and the tears blurring my vision, it’s a wonder I didn’t burn anything—or anyone—else.

I managed to say a few words before I started choking up. I didn’t know what to say that could I possibly sum up who Hayden was and what she meant to me? She like dark comedies, snored like freight train, and hated the color pink. That didn’t cover who she was.

I sobbed quietly as the shroud burned. I hated myself for crying in public. This was too painful. It was more than I could handle.

Once during the funeral rights, I thought I saw Nico di Angelo, but I wasn’t sure. He looked different—taller, older, no aviator jacket. When I turned back to see if it was really him, he vanished.

Before I could ask Percy if Nico was actually here, there was a brilliant flash of blue and white light, and a beautiful auburn-haired woman in a blue sundress was standing next to Mr. D. A look of pure sorrow was plastered on her vaguely familiar face.

Everyone gasped or took about three steps back. Someone near the back of the crowd tripped and fell with a “gak!” Even Chiron and Mr. D looked a bit surprised. It was clear that this lady was a goddess.

Mr. D nodded, acknowledging her. I was surprised to see a twinge of sympathy in his eyes. I thought Mr. D’s only emotions were cold, detached contempt and utter indifference. “Thetis.”

I felt like I had been punched in the gut by Donkey Kong.

The goddess smiled sadly at Mr. D. “Dionysus. You’re looking well. How are you? Are you treating the campers nicely?”

A cough masking the word “nope” came from somewhere in the group. Mr. D shot everyone a warning glare.

“I am nice,” he said. “I hardly turned anyone into a shrub in hours.”

“That’s excellent news. Unfortunately, under the circumstances, you’ll have to understand that this is not a casual visit. I came to speak to the girl."

She motioned towards me, bringing unwelcomed attention to myself. I wanted to dig a hole and hide there forever.

“Of course,” Mr. D said.

Thetis walked past him in a surreal manner, like she was gliding on a wave, and stopped in front of me. When she moved, her dress rippled green and purple. She stared down at me with curiosity, like I was a really difficult puzzle that she knew she had to crack.

I looked away from her familiar face. She had pale green eyes.

“You must be devastated,” Thetis said, matter-of-factly. “What are your thoughts? How do you feel?”

What were my thoughts? How did I feel? If she wanted to know that, then we would be here all day. Besides, if I started to talk, then I would cry again.

I inhaled deeply. “I—I…”

She smiled at me sadly. “Come. Walk on the beach with me.”

~*~

“You are quiet. I imagine you're holding your pain on the inside?”

Thetis’s presence seemed to make everything feel… crisper. The occasional cool breeze of ocean air was fresher; the sand softer; the ocean bluer. It all just made me feel all the more nervous. And guilty.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Inside…”

I rubbed my still sore arm, which was in a sling. It was bitter reminder that what happened to Hayden was real. I couldn’t get the image of her glowing black eyes out of my mind: the way she killed the monsters, and Amymone; her pale eyes blinded from the power; Hayden’s last, dying breath.

I shudder, my eyes tearing up. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” she said. “Silence is a natural response when dealing with pain.”

“No,” I said miserably. “I’m sorry about… about Hayden.”

Thetis stopped in her tracks and looked at me quizzically. Her eyes, which were so much like Hayden’s, made me want to cry all over again. “About Hayden? Why would you—”

“I know that she could have out run the Indus Worms,” I interrupted without thinking. “She could have gotten away and would still be alive if it wasn’t for me. She’s dead because she wanted to protect me!”

Tears were streaming down my face and I was blubbering like a baby in front of a goddess. I couldn’t help it. My chest felt hollow, like my heart was missing. My words flowed as freely as my tears.

“I wasn't strong enough. Now she’s gone. You wanna know how I feel? I feel miserable and guilty and angry and scared.”

I wiped my eyes, steeling myself for any kind of response from Thetis. I expected her to chastise me for being so weak, or yell at me for what happened to Hayden. I anticipated Thetis vaporizing me or turning me into a pile of kelp.

The last thing I expected was for the goddess of water to hug me.

Her embrace was like a warm current of water after standing in the freezing cold. It made me feel calmer, more relaxed. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my breathing.

“Hayden made me promise on the Styx to do the impossible,” I said after Thetis let me go. “She told me not to blame her, you, or myself for what happened.”

“And do you?”

“Yes,” I admitted, wiping my eyes. “I wish she hadn’t done that move. I wish I was strong enough to protect the people I care about. I wish—”

I stopped myself before I could say anything I would regret.

Thetis looked down at me with questioning eyes, like she was trying to figure out what was going on in my mind. “Go on.”

“I wish you never gave Hayden the gift of foresight,” I said. “It made things hard for her. She hated it.”

For a moment, Thetis’s eyes glowed dangerously bright. The air heated up ten degrees. I thought for a moment that she would zap me into a puddle of water.

Then the angry light subsided. Thetis sighed and sat in the sand, not caring if her beautiful dress got dirty. She patted the spot next to her, inviting me to sit. I did.

“Understand,” Thetis said, “that at the time, I believed what I did was for the best. I give the gift to my children because I wish for them to have long happy lives. However, with that power, great wisdom is needed. Choices have consequences and in the end you must choose your path. You create your own destiny. Hayden understood this. Alas, the odds are never in the favor of powerful demigods. I thought… I thought perhaps partial foresight seemed fair. But my poor daughter was not able to escape her fate in the end. Fate and destiny are complicated things, even for us gods.”

“What the difference?”

“Fate is inescapable, as awful as that sounds. Avoiding it is nearly impossible; any examples of someone defying fate are extremely rare. Destiny, however, is made through choices. You create your own path, which sounds a little more hopeful. Do you understand?”

My head whirled. The last thing I wanted to get today was a philosophy lesson. “I think so. Still doesn’t make me feel any less miserable. Or guilty.”

“You cannot blame yourself, child,” Thetis chastised. “You must honor an oath on the Styx. Breaking it will lead to serious consequences.”

“I…” I swallowed back a protest. “I’ll try.”

Thetis nodded looking back at the sea. Without looking at me, she said, “You fear that my daughter's destruction will also be yours.”

I froze. It wasn’t a question. Slowly, I nodded, growing a sudden interest in my shoes.

Another emotion to add to the list: shame.

As if reading my thoughts, Thetis placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Your feelings of fear are normal. Any hero in your situation would feel the same way.”

That was the first time I'd ever been called a hero sincerely. I should've been glad, but I wasn't feeling very heroic…

“Hayden told me some things,” I said tentatively. “About the Roman gods.”

Thetis tensed. “Has she now? My daughter has given you dangerous information. You must not tell anyone of what Hayden has revealed to you. The time is not right. Swear it on the Styx.”

“I won’t,” I promised. “I swear it on the Styx.”

Thunder boomed in the distance.

Thetis’s nodded, satisfied. “You are more powerful than you know, Kaia Fischer. Fate isn’t always kind to powerful demigods. It does not make me happy to say that there will be more loss in your future.”

“Not really looking forward to that…”

She looked at me sympathetically. “That is the life of a hero. Loss, pain, and suffering. But there is also growth, friendship, love, happiness. You demigods are luckier than you think. You’re made out of stronger stuff than most mortals. Not only do you have to fight to survive, you must handle greater emotions than the average mortal. I’ve always admired that about heroes.”

Thetis looked back at the sea, but her gaze was a million miles away. I wondered, rather awkwardly, if she was thinking about her mortal husband, Peleus, Hayden’s dad, or other morals that she’d ever fallen for.

“Perhaps, Kaia Fischer,” Thetis continued, “in memory of my daughter, I will lend you some aid.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“When my daughter was born, I gave her three gifts: the power over water, the power of speed, and the power of foresight. I am offering you one of these gifts.”

I blinked, pretty sure I’d misheard her. “Wait. You’re giving me power?”

“Yes. However, there is also a price. If you agree to have one-third of her powers, you will gain some of her memories and experience some of the emotions she had when she was alive. They’ll be vague, but it’ll be as if Hayden has become a permanent part of you.”

“Why are you offering it to me?”

Thetis looked pained. “Perhaps I would like for my child’s legacy to live on. Perhaps I would like to see you live so that her sacrifice would not have been in vain.”

I thought it over. What Thetis said was right: I was afraid that what happened to Hayden would happen to me. The fact that demigods don’t make it to twenty has never felt so real. I wanted to live and I was afraid that I was too weak to make it.

Maybe it was dumb. Maybe it was selfish. But Hayden’s death was too hard. Too painful. I wanted her back. I knew she was gone forever… but maybe Thetis’s offer was the next best thing.

I took a deep breath. “I… I accept your gift.”

I told her what power I wanted. She nodded as if she understood why.

“Let us proceed.”

Thetis stood in front of me and I kneeled in front of her. She placed her fingers on my forehead and the outside world slipped away.

A flood of emotions and memories swept over me before I was prepared.

At first it was fine. I felt joy, peace, and love. Absolute love. I was a little girl holding my mother’s hand as we walked through a park. Dad stopped to snap a picture of us. Mother’s smile was even more brilliant than the sun.

Mom was always so lovely and kind. Every time she saw me, she smiled and told me how special I was.

Then it was my birthday. I was turning ten. There was a Nightmare before Christmas cake, purple balloons, and all of my friends at my house. There was my best friend, laughing and smiling along with me. My best friend was always there, making me laugh and cheering me up.

I got older, and starting understanding more. I now understood why Mom didn’t live with us, or why she never came to my birthday parties. I also understood the visions I got. I could see the future. Mom said that it was my gift, and that it would help protect me.

There were monsters. It was the only time I was ever truly afraid of my dad. He destroedy any monster that dared to face him. He controlled fear and shadows. My dad was powerful. I thought that he was unbreakable.

Dad wasn’t unbreakable. The monsters finally got the best of him. The visions that were supposed to help me survive now showed me his death at the hands of giant lampreys that never let go of anything they caught. There wasn’t even a body to bury. Crushing pain enveloped me. I couldn’t drown, but it felt like I was.

My Dad was dead, and I couldn’t help but fear that I was soon behind. I knew it was my fate. I had too many gifts. Sooner or later, it would be my time, and I wanted to do everything I could before then.

The monsters finally came for me at school. I’ve destroyed the schools pipes, totaled a golf cart, and wrecked the principal’s car. I felt guilty, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t tell the truth to anyone, and while that was awful it was nothing new. The worst part was that I couldn’t even tell my best friend.

For a while all was well. When the monsters came, and I dealt with them. I started to feel better, more hopeful. Even when my best friend and I were chased through the streets and ended up at the camp, I thought that things are getting better. I could be honest with her. No more secrets.

There were a flash of memories that made me happy. My best friend and I were picking strawberries in the warm sun. We were singing the cheesy songs during the campfire. I taught her how to manipulate water.

Suddenly, the fear returned. We were running and fighting for our lives. I was so tired, but I couldn’t give up. If I did, we were both death, and I couldn’t let my best friend die…

There was an explosion and everything went black. I collapsed, dying. I was dying. I couldn’t die now, I didn’t want to die. Not like this.

Not now, I prayed. Please don’t let it be now…

Suddenly, there was a loud crack! It sounded the shattering of a thousand mirrors that came from the inside of my mind. My consciousness crumbled and reformed itself. I was myself again. My name is Kaia Fischer.

I was brought back to reality to the sound of crying. Horrible, gut wrenching sobs. It took me a moment to realize the crying was coming from me.

I fell to my knees and good hand, fingers digging into the sand. My breathing became shallow. My head pounded like someone had a sledge hammer was going to town with it on the inside of my skull.

Thetis looked at me mournfully. A tear fell down her cheek. Without saying anything, she turned to mist and got carried off by the wind, leaving me feeling more broken than before.

~*~

I sat on the beach watching as the waves crashed against the shore. I remembered the myth of how Poseidon created horses. Until then, I never understood what a sea god had to do with land animals. I imagined horses forming from the sea foam, galloping away towards freedom, hooves pounding the sand. Horses were free spirits. They didn't like to be constrained, like the ocean. That was my nature, too, I realized. I was of the ocean.

When Thetis told me the price of her offer, I didn't think of any negative consequences of acquiring Hayden's memories. I didn't think the experience would be so heavy. I didn't prepare myself, and now I was shell shock.

Seeing Hayden's memories, feeling her emotions made me feel completely jumbled, like I experienced a second life, which I had in a way. It still felt completely unreal to me. I realized that no matter how long or well you know someone, you'll never completely understand them. Maybe that wasn't a totally bad thing, but still… It left me feeling empty.

I knew that there was a lot missing—emotions and thoughts that Thetis didn’t give me. That didn’t mean that the impact wasn’t there. Hayden carried so much pain and sadness when she was alive, now a part of that was with me forever.

I felt as if I understood Hayden better now. I appreciated who she was even more. Thetis wanted me to experience all of that. She wanted me to understand Hayden more so that I would appreciate the power.

A voice behind me broke me out of my thoughts. “Hi.”

I jumped. The head counselor of the Hecate cabin, Lou Ellen, stood behind me. I've never spoken to her much. Whenever I saw her around camp, she always seemed to be cheerful and a little goofy, so I was surprised when I saw the grim expression on her face.

She sat next to me, a little bit closer than I would've preferred, though I didn't say anything. “This probably won't make you feel any better, but…”

Lou Ellen pulled out a lollipop that looked like a cartoon pig. She twirled it around absently.

“You're not alone here. Everyone at camp has lost someone before. A friend or a sibling or something. In the last Titan war, a lot of my siblings and I fought on Kronos's side. A lot of them died. Hecate was granted amnesty on the terms that one of my brothers never came to camp. You’re not alone in this. Everybody here gets it. I mean, you can just ask anyone here and they can tell you the same thing, trust me. I'm rambling now. Here.”

She handed me the lollipop. “Sugar helps.”

I raised an eyebrow at the pig lollipop, but took it. “Thanks.”

She smiled and pulled out another lollipop (a pigpop, I decided to call it) for herself.

We sat in silence together, sucking on the pigpops. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was a strange start to a strange friendship.

~*~

People go on and on about the blue sky, but it's nothing compared to the ocean. To me, the ocean trumps the sky in beauty and vibrancy. Sometimes it's so blue, you'll swear it's dyed with food coloring.

I floated on its surface, somehow knowing that I was about two or three nautical miles off the shore from camp. If I stayed put, the current would eventually carry me out all the way out into the middle of the Atlantic. I didn't care. I didn't care if I got carried all the way to Portugal.

The water beneath me made me feel like I was on a bounce house. It was so soothing. My eyelids grew heavy. Warmth spread from my stomach to my every limb. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and—

“Nice day, isn't it?”

I didn't even flinch this time.

A man in a fishing kayak materialized next to me. I say materialize because I know that he wasn’t there before. No man in his right mind would be this far out I the ocean in a kayak with no paddle and only a fishing pole, and he looked way too at ease to be stranded.

“Poseidon,” I said.

The god of the sea looked nothing like I’d imagine him to be. I always thought that he’d have a blue fish tail land long white flowing hair and beard (or was that Triton from The Little Mermaid?). Instead he was a middle age guy with black hair and sea green eyes just like Percy’s. His beard was neatly trimmed and his skin was tanned as if he spent a lot of time fishing in the sun. He wore a Hawaiian shirt with palm trees and coconuts.

My overall assessment? Not very godly.

Poseidon’s arrival sparked something inside of me. Anger and resentment bubbled inside me, threatening to burst like a volcano.

“You'll have to forgive me for not curtsying,” I said. “I naturally lack respect for grown men who wear socks and sandals.”

I expected him to smite me right then. I didn’t know if he could kill me with water, although if he couldn’t, he could always summon a horse and order it to trample me to death for being insolent.

He didn’t seem to be offended. Poseidon nodded his head, like he understood how I was feeling. Like he was trying to be understanding and reasonable.

Asshat.

“What do you want?” I snapped.

“I don’t suspect that you’d believe me if I told you this was just a friendly visit?”

I paused, thinking back to my childhood and all the weirdness I’d manage to block out. “Nope. Don’t you gods have rules about this sort of thing? Visiting your kids and whatnot?”

A small smiled played on his lips, which reminded me of Percy’s devious grin. It was weird how alike they both looked.

“I can’t be expected to follow all the rules all the time,” Poseidon said. “You're the same way. That’s one of the many ways you and your brother are similar.”

“You mean Percy?”

A twinkle in his eye. “No. Well yes. I meant your older brother, Theseus.”

“Oh.” Made sense. “My waaaay older brother.”

An uncomfortable silence followed. My life seemed to be filled with more and more of those lately.

“Theseus birth was… interesting, to say the least,” Poseidon said. “Like yours, the details of his conception are very—”

“Sketchy?”

“Confusing. Some stories he was my son, others say he was the son of king Aegean.”

I sighed, getting impatient. What was man getting at? “Yeah, but he’s your son. How else could he survive underwater the way me and Percy can?”

“You’re half right. Theseus was the son of Agean, as well as mine.”

I frowned. “I don't understand.”

“It's the same reason your sister is mortal and you're a half blood,” Poseidon explained. “I will spare you the details and logistics of it—”

“Thank you.”

“Kaia. You are different from other half-bloods, but that makes you no less of a hero. You are very much my daughter as you are his.”

I let that sink in. Ever since I learned that Poseidon was my father, I’ve dreaded seeing my dad again and came to terms that my dad would always be my dad, regardless of who my godly parent was. This news made me feel happy, relieved, and feeling strange at the same time.

“I have two dads,” I said, aloud. “That’s so…weird. I’m sure I saw this on TV before.”

Then it hit me, and I cursed myself for being a moron for not realizing it before.

“That day at the zoo,” I said. “That wasn't my dad. That was you, wasn't it?

A small smile from Poseidon. “You were quite obsessed with Panda bears,” he recalled. “Personally, I prefer sea horses. The males carry their offspring in pouches, not unlike your uncle.”

At first, I thought he meant my uncle Kristof. Then I remembered the myth of how Athena and Mr. D were born. “Oh, you meant Zeus. Almighty Zeus is my uncle. Well I won’t dwell on that.”

Poseidon chuckled under his breath. I’ll admit it, I laughed a little, too.

“Why did you come here?” I asked.

Poseidon’s smile melted into a more serious expression. “As you know, the gods are forbidden to play favorites. I may not be able to see you for some time.”

“Ancient laws and all of that, right?”

“Yes.” But there was hesitation in his voice. I frowned.

For a moment, I considered telling him that I knew about the god’s Greek/Roman split. Thetis said that I couldn’t tell anyone because it wasn’t the right time. I had a feeling that Poseidon knew what she meant. Then again, I doubted that he would tell me, even if I confronted him with it. Adults are like that, and I figured that gods would be no different.

So I decided to not bring it up.

“Okay,” I said.

A few seconds of silence passed between us before Poseidon said, “I am sorry about your friend.”

He sounded actually sincere. My eyes got watery.

“She died a hero’s death,” he said. “She will go to Elysium.”

A part of me wanted to roll my eyes and scoff. I’ve heard that lame line before when my grandfather died: “It’s okay, Kaia. Your grandpa is in heaven now.” But now, knowing that the gods existed and having one of them tell me that Hayden was going to be okay, I felt more at ease.

Thunder rumbled in the clear sky, making the water quiver.

“That would be my cue to go,” Poseidon said. “Remember our talk, Kaia. Know that you are a true daughter of mine… and tell Percy that I wish him well.”

On that note, Poseidon melted back into the water, leaving me alone again.

~*~

That evening, I was at basketball court. I had no idea why, since basketball wasn’t my sport. A few guys from the Apollo cabin asked if I wanted to join their game, but I declined.

I sat on a bench on one side of the court while the guys from the Apollo took the other side. Each of them made almost every basket, which reminded me of a scene from the movie Pleasantville. Normally, watching a shirts vs. skins game between a bunch of good looking guys would’ve been fun, but my mind was focused on other things.

I stood, dribbling the ball, and threw it ungracefully at the back board. It ricocheted off the hoop and came back for me. I ducked out of the way, the ball missing my face by a half inch.

“Ugh!”

Percy stood behind me, hand covering his stomach.

“You know,” he groaned, rubbing the spot where the ball hit him, “it helps to tuck in your elbows.”

I grimaced. “Sorry, Percy.”

“No problem.” He went to pick up the ball and I noticed that he was carrying a purple bag over his shoulder. Hayden’s bag. I tensed.

I sighed, and tried to act normal. “Basketball isn't really my sport, y'know? There's no kicking or running. Just tedious dribbling and jogging.”

“Hey!” he protested, a grin on his face. “It's not that boring.”

“That's true. It could be golf. Or worse.”

“Nothing's worse than golf. Well, maybe soccer.”

“Hey, I like soccer. A sport’s not a sport without the constant risk of breaking your tibia.”

Percy chuckled.

I shifted on my feet. “So… you any good at basketball?”

He grinned as he tossed me the ball. “I’ll give you a few pointers.”

Percy gave me a quick lesson, telling me to tuck my elbows and aim for the square on the backboard (“That’s what that’s for?”). Pretty soon, we started a game of Horse. I did okay—I wasn’t nearly as sucky as before. In the end, Percy wiped to floor with me. Twice.

Afterwards, we sat on the benches, silently watching as the game between the Apollo cabin guys. It wasn’t an awkward, uncomfortable silence, just the silence of two people who’re enjoying each other’s company.

So, of course, I had to go and ruin it. Awkwardness was my forte, after all. “I met Poseidon today.”

Percy’s smile shrunk.“Really. What did he say to you?”

“He just explained some things to me. He gave me a stuffed panda as a kid, he and my dad are both somehow my father.”

Percy looked about as confused as I felt, like I’d just flicked him in between the eyes and ran away laughing. “That’s…”

“Weird? Tell me about it.” I flipped the basketball back and forth between my hands. “Poseidon seems…nice enough. He told me to tell you that he wishes you well.”

I couldn’t place the look on Percy face. Confused? Concerned? Maybe a little bit happy? His brow scrunched up, and I could tell he was thinking. Whatever was on his mind, he didn’t share.

Percy picked up Hayden’s lavender bag. I’d almost forgotten that he had that.

“Annabeth and I found this at the beach,” he said. “Your sword and Hayden’s axe are both in there. You should have it.”

Hesitantly, I took it. “Thanks, Percy,” I said. “Thanks for… y’know. Everything.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “No big deal.”

“Yeah, it kinda is.”

I let the basketball fall onto the ground and watched as it dribbled away. “The other night when Hayden and I…” my voice caught in my throat.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“I want to tell someone. I won’t be able to tell my family the truth and, well… there’s no one else I trust enough to tell. Someone should know what really happened.”

So I told him everything, from that night at school when Amymone chased Hayden and me through the city  and Annabeth saved us, to me discovering who Amymone was, to how Hayden died.

It was hard. I kept choking whenever I mentioned Hayden, but it felt good to talk to someone about this who would understand what I went through.

I’d just finished telling Percy about my talk with Thetis when the conch horn blew, signaling that it was time for dinner.

We made our way to the dining pavilion. During dinner, I burned part of my meal and thanked Poseidon. Thanking him for giving me a friend—and brother—like Percy.

~*~

A car accident.

As far as my family knew, Hayden died in an accident when my “school” took us on a fieldtrip. She died almost instantly. Hayden’s body was taken by her mother’s side of the family who held a very private funeral for her.

Chiron told me the story he fed my parents before I left to go home. I hated it. I hated lying to my parents.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve lied to my parents before (hustling candy in exchange for money isn’t something they’d exactly approve of). I was fourteen and immature—of course I have. Still, I never lied to them about anything this major before. It made me feel awful, even though I got why I had to go along with the charade.

The worst part, though, was having to go through Hayden’s funeral all over again.

We held a small memorial for Hayden at my house. Mom and Dad invited our friends from school. Their parents brought over flowers and food. There was a lot of crying. Everyone came up to me to say how sorry they were.

I cried. I sat on the couch away from everyone else. I didn’t speak to my old friends much, not even Axel. They wouldn’t understand the same why I did. They couldn’t.

Alana hugged me almost the entire time. I didn’t push her away. She was crying nearly as bad as I was, and as much as I hated to see her like that, I appreciate the fact that she wasn’t trying to act strong or put on a brave face when she didn’t need to.

Dad offered to take me, Alana, and our friends out to get dessert to wherever I wanted to go, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. I just wanted to go to my room and rest.

My room at home always felt a little alien to me since I spent most of my time at St. Catherine’s. My parents let me and Alana decorate it however we wanted (believe me when I tell you that Lana’s room was a fluorescent pink nightmare). The walls to my room were painted my favorite shade of green and covered with posters of my favorite movies and bands. The bookcase held DVDs, comic books, surf trophies, CDs and old art projects; anything except actual books. A small desk was by my door. Olive colored bed sheets hid old and faded Iron Giant sheets.

I flopped down on my bed, careful to avoid hurting my arm and started flipping channels on TV absently. I stopped when I landed on Cartoon Network.

I watched cartoons for what felt like hours, though with my ADHD, time was always iffy. I’d hoped that TV would serve as a distraction and cheer me up. No such luck.

A knock at my door made me nearly fall off of my bed.

“Come in,” I said. My voice was hoarse.

It was my mom, carrying a plate of food. Wordlessly, she sat down on my bed to my right.

I rested my head on my mother’s lap. She smoothed my hair the way she used to do when I was little and upset. Everything was so simple back then.

“You hungry?” she asked softly.

“I dunno,” I said.

“Do you want to cry?” she asked me.

“I’m sick of crying. I’m bleeding my tear ducts dry.”

“Oh, honey.”

My mother sounded so heartbroken. It was enough to bring tears to my eyes again.

I moved to hug her with my good arm. She rubbed my back soothingly, letting me cry into her shoulder.

Eventually, my sobs turned into heavy breathing. Something was tugging at my heart, dying to tell my mom what’s been bothering me.

Through shudders, I manage to say, “I k-keep thinking that…that what happened to Hayden…it’s gonna happen to me someday.”

“Kaia,” my mom moved to look me in the eyes. “What happened to Hayden was an accident. That doesn’t mean that it’ll happen to you.”

My mother spoke with such firmness and sincerity that it was hard not to start bawling again. It was killing me not being able to tell her the truth. I wanted to so badly. Even if I told Mom the truth and she believed me, I don’t think that she would ever fully understand. I barely understood. Maybe things were better this way.

“I don’t know how you feel, Kaia,” my mom said, brushing away the tears on my cheek. “But I know you’ll miss Hayden. We all will. I won’t tell you that the pain will go away and you’ll stop missing her. However, over time, you’ll start to feel better and you’ll be able to think of all the good times you and Hayden had. I still think of your grandfather, I just think of all the good things: his sense of humor, the stories he told me as a child. I think about your Grandmother, too…”

She trailed off, her dark eyes clouded with sadness. I could tell that even after all those years, the death of my grandmother still hurt my mom.

“I understand what it’s like to lose someone,” she went on. If you want to talk to someone, your dad and I will always be able to listen, and Alana is, too. I promise, honey.”

I was so thankful to have my mom here for me, I wanted to sob. Even though she didn’t know the full story, I felt as if in some small way she understood.

She placed the plate of food on my desk. “Your dean called. He said due to… recent events…”

I knew this was coming. Chiron told me to think about the decision I would have to make.

“He said that he thinks that his school is the best option for you. But if you want, you can stay in the city and go to your old school and only take summer courses. It’s up to you. I won’t decide for you. I trust you to know what is best for you.”

“I like it there, Mom,” I said. “There are other kids who went through the same thing. They understand what I’m going through…”

Mom kissed me on the forehead. “I’m happy you feel that way. You don’t have to make the decision now, honey. You have a few days. Take your time.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Come out when you’re ready, Kaia. I know your friends would like to see you. And maybe take your dad up on his offer.”

I smiled. “Y’know… I am in the mood for an Oreo milkshake.”

Mom smiled back, closing the door behind her. After she was gone, I pulled Hayden’s bag out of my closet and started going through it. Before I left camp, I packed everything of hers into the bag. She had a lot of pictures. My throat tightened. I found an old shoe box and put all of her pictures in there. I would sort them out later when I was ready. Everything else, except her axe and daggers, would stay here.

I thought about the decision Mom left for me to make. Did I want to stay here and go back to the way things were? Have a part of my normal life back?

Without a second thought, I answered no. It was the truth. I couldn’t go back to my old life. I was too different now. Old me and my old life was over. I’ll never have it back.

I thought about Hayden; all good thoughts: I thought about our all night, bad movie marathons. The time when we super glued the dry erase markers to the white board in English class. How her eyes lit up when she talked about all the places she wanted to go to and the things she wanted to see.

My heart ached. I wanted to travel, to enjoy the experiences for the both of us.

But the only way I could do that was to train and learn to fight. I have to continue to survive. Death is not an option for me. I was living life for the both of us now.

I made a silent prayer to Hayden. I had no idea if she could hear me. Then again, she was a child of the underworld, if anyone could, she could.

“I’ll see you again,” I muttered under my breath. “It won’t be anytime soon, so just be patient and wait for me. In the meantime, enjoy paradise. Tell your dad I said hello.”

Maybe it was my imagination, but suddenly, my room felt a little warmer. The air was a bit fresher and sweeter. My spirits lifted.

Hayden was here with me. I know it’s lame to say, but, in a way, she’ll always be here.

I would honor her memory. I would become a true hero. I would live as long as I needed to so that I could see all the places that she didn’t get the chance to see.

As I stood to leave my room, I noticed an orange bottle filled with pills. My Adderall. It seemed like forever since I’d taken them last. I held the small bottle, rubbing my thumb over the printed label.

I dropped the bottle into my trash can and went to join my friends and family. I wanted to spend some time with them before I left for Camp Half-Blood.