Chapter 2 - Grand Theft Auto Saves the Day

Kaia Fischer, age fourteen, commits motor vehicle theft in broad daylight with ex-suspected felon Percy Jackson, age sixteen, who together murder several ugly women and violate several traffic laws. Friends and family are baffled.

That was the article I imagined would be in The New York Times as Percy drove the hoodless cab down the streets of Manhattan. I shuddered to think of the punishment my parents would give me for pulling this stunt…if it didn’t also give them and my grandparents heart attacks first.

“I hate this,” Percy muttered under his breath.

“What,” I said, “running for your life?”

“No. Well, yes. I meant stealing a taxi. It’s wrong.”

I sighed, and ripped a piece of my t-shirt off to tie around my bleeding arm. “I know. I don’t like it either, but we needed it. Besides, we can always return it. The hole in the roof wasn’t our fault. I know a very confused woman running around the streets of New York babbling about mutant pigeons who will attest to that. Trust me, they can’t charge us.”

Percy grinned. “You should be a lawyer.”

“Nah,” I said. “Too much reading.”

We flew past a few more blocks. Every once in a while a woman would start to follow us, but Percy managed to lose them. I prayed to whoever was the god of traffic that we’d miss all the red lights. I guess he or she was only half listening.

I got antsy, waiting at a red light. I kept glancing behind us. “You think more’ll find us? The monsters, I mean.”

“Two children of Poseidon together, sending off a smell stronger than rotting seafood,” Percy said drily. “How could they find us?”

“I get it, Per-sassy. Dumb question.”

“Per-sassy?”

“The light’s green, brah.”

Percy started to drive again, eyes fixed on the road. “You still haven’t told me why there are a bunch of dangerous ladies chasing you.”

“Oops. I guess that is an important detail.”

I explained to him meeting Hedylogos and his brothers and what they told me about the necklace.

“I heard that story before,” Percy said. “It was a gift from Hephaestus to his daughter on her wedding day.”

“Yeah, they gave me the whole back story. The necklace… it’s too dangerous. It’s caused enough misery.”

I looked out the window and had to do a double take. In the side view mirror, about twenty women of various ages were bringing up the tail. They were knocking over innocent bystanders and climbing over cars. The Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear warning had never been so ironic and terrifying before.

“Oh gods,” I breathed.

“What is it?” Percy asked glancing into the rear view mirror. His jaw dropped when he saw the swarm of ladies coming for us

I cursed. “They’re taking off their pumps!”

Percy sped through the street, weaving the taxi through cars and running yellow lights. I’d hoped that we’d be able to escape them, but traffic was heavy and a few of them were ballsy enough to get on top of moving cars. Eternal youth and beauty wasn’t worth that much, right?

The cab took a sharp turn left, the wheels going over a curb. I was sent flying into the back seat, my feet sticking stupidly in the air.

Through a series of twist and turns that I could no longer keep track of (we probably passed through a warp zone, too), Percy was able to shake off our pursuers.

I climbed back into the front seat and buckled my seat belt this time. “So,” I said. “How was your Thanksgiving?”

Percy let out a short laugh. “My mom went to the extreme with the blue food this year. Blue mashed potatoes, blue cranberry sauce. Don’t even ask me how she managed to make an entire turkey blue.”

I grinned. “Seriously? Please tell me you guys took pictures of it?”

We caught up—talking about our Thanksgiving breaks— as we went over the Williamsburg Bridge. No one gave us another look as Percy drove the topless cab. The cityscape blended into the countryside. For a while, there was peace. No ladies chasing us, monstrous or otherwise.

Percy and I talked and joked until the cab ran over something with a thump-thump.

Percy hit the break and the car came to a screeching halt. His face paled. “What did I hit?”

I shook my head and peered out the back seat window.  Lying in the middle of the road was the crumpled form of a woman. I wanted to jump out of the car and check to see if she was okay, but something stopped me from doing so.

The woman began to stir, sitting up so that we could see her face clearly.

It wasn't a human lady.

Her skin was the color of milk and her hair was pure fire. Underneath her long red dress she had two mismatched legs: one made of bronze, the other of a donkey.

Her eyes met mine, and her face contorted into a hideous sneer. She got up and started to run towards, clopping along unevenly on her bizarre legs.

I forgot how to move.

Percy laid his foot down on the gas pedal, and I was happy that I was wearing a seat belt this time.

The empousa thankfully couldn’t keep up with a speeding car with her odd legs at the rate we were going. Fortunately, we were getting closer to camp.

Unfortunately, the Fates liked throwing curveballs our way.

There was a flap-flap that I heard in the distance, that grew louder and louder. Percy glanced up at the rearview mirror and swore in Ancient Greek.

A Sphinx was frantically flapping her wings to catch up to our cab.

I groaned. “She’s flying. Since when can they fly?”

“She looks out of breath,” Percy said. “I don’t think she’ll catch up to us.”

As if in response, the fates laughed at us.

Smoke was rising out of the hood of the cab. The car stalled and sputtered to a stop. Smoke curled from underneath the hood.

I swore in English, Ancient Greek, and even in Hawaiian (don’t tell my mom. She’ll wash my mouth out with three different brands of soap).

Percy and I scrambled out of the cab. I drew my sword. Percy pulled out Riptide. He removed the cap, and the ballpoint pen expanded into a three foot long blade of celestial bronze awesomeness.

The Sphinx landed in front of us about ten feet away as she caught her breath. I noticed that she looked fairly familiar. She had poofy blonde hair and an ugly blue blouse that was too tight for her pudgy body. Her name tag read Elsa.

I groaned. “Didn’t I kill you already?”

Percy looked from her to me. “Wait. You know her?”

“Unfortunately.”

Elsa laughed. “You cannot keep me down forever! I have been endowed with new strength! I am powerful! I am—”

“Look,” Percy interrupted. “Can we skip the boasting and just go straight into the fight?”

“I second that,” I said.

Together, we charged.

The Sphinx was surprisingly faster on land than in the air. I slashed at her with my sword; Percy stabbed and hacked Riptide at her, but she easily dodged all of our attacks. She was definitely easier to kill last time. What was so different now?

I faked like I was about to stab the Sphinx in the side, then moved to swing the blade at her neck, but the monster was too quick. She knocked my blade out of my hand and struck at me down, sending me sprawling onto the grass.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Percy leap at her sword raised, but Elsa ducked it and raked her claws across his gut, knocking him back.

My heart dropped six feet. I jumped up. “Hey, wide load! You want the precious?”

Thankfully, the Sphinx turned her attention onto me. Her icy blue eyes glowed with hate.

I started to walk in the opposite direction of Percy and my sword, pulling the necklace out of the bag and jingling it at her like keys.

That got her attention. Elsa flew at me with renewed vigor.

I didn’t have a plan. All I could think of was to keep her distracted from Percy until a better idea came along. I thought about making a quick grab for my sword, but it was closer to the Sphinx than it was for me. I was quick, but I didn’t think Elsa would have much trouble slicing me into demigod lunch meat if I got to close.

“Eternal youth and beauty?” I said as if I were talking to a friend and not a flying lion she-beast who wanted to kill me. “I might just keep it for myself.”

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Percy get up and approach her from behind, stealthy as a ninja. His hoodie and shirt were torn, but I saw no blood. I wanted to sob in relief, but I couldn’t let my gaze linger in fear that the monster might notice.

I gave the monster an once-over and sneered in disgust—a bitchy act worthy of Drew Tanaka. “I mean, it wouldn’t do you any good. Its magic isn’t that powerful.”

The Sphinx made a grab for the necklace, but I leapt out of her reach.

“Though, I suppose you need it more than I do to fix all…” I waved my hand at her. “…all of that. Here. Consider it my gift to you.”

I offered the necklace to her. Elsa grinned wickedly and was about to accept my offer…until Percy ran Riptide through her belly.

The monster’s grin melted as she looked down at the sword point in her bellybutton. “Not…cool.” And she disappeared in a cloud of yellow vapor.

I dropped the necklace back into the bag as I went to go retrieve my sword

“That's like something Annabeth would try,” Percy said, a small smile on his lips.

“Where you think I learned that from,” I said, thinking of the advice Annabeth had given me. At the time, it seemed silly, but I guess even monsters can be distracted easily if you can grab their attention. ADHD knows no species.

I looked over Percy, making sure that I was seeing him right. There was no blood from where Elsa attacked him. Not even a cut or a bruise.

“Why aren’t you bleeding?” I asked. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re okay, but this is pretty weird.”

Percy looked down as if noticing for the first time the rips in his clothes. He was about to say something, when his eyes caught something behind me.

Over the hill, an empousa marched towards us, flanked by six harpies on each side and two dracanae. I swear I could see the she-demon smile.

I glanced behind us. Camp was so close, but I knew the two of us couldn’t make t without them catching up to us. I could if I ran, but Percy wasn’t as fast as I was and I wasn’t about to leave him behind.

“Percy,” I said, handing him my bag. “Go. Bring the bag to camp. I—”

“I’m not leaving you,” he said, shaking his head. “There are way too many of them.”

“You need the head start. I’ll be the distraction.  I run faster. I can make up the hill to camp”

But he didn’t listen to me. Before I could try to convince him again, a voice purred, “Percy Jackson?”

The empousa stood not eight feet from us, her monstrous allies at her side. They stopped when she did, grumbling and glaring at the back of her head. Clearly she was in charge, but they didn’t like it.

Her image wavered, and she was no longer a fiery monster. She was a thin girl with long brown hair and unnaturally green eyes, like toxic waste green.

“I knew it,” she grinned. “You are Percy Jackson! It’s my lucky day. You can call me Angel.”

She chuckled as if she’d just said something clever.

Percy showed her his sword. “So, Angel. You’ve heard of me?”

“Oh, you’re quite popular amongst us empousai.” She looked him up and down and smirked. “I can see why. Oh how I’d love to take a bite out of you.”

I scrunched up my nose. “Eww.”

She gave me an all-too-familiar look of disgust. I used to get that look all the time from Alana’s friends and a few teachers. It was a look that made it clear that someone looked down at me, that they thought that they were better than me.

My sword handle grew warm in my hand.

“Do I make you feel jealous?” the empousa asked. “Well, you should be, fish. I don’t even need the necklace—I’m beautiful enough as it is already—” she gave a little hair flip, “but since you have it here, I think I’ll take it.”

She extended her hand as if she actually expected me to give it to her. “Come on. Give it up now, and I promise I’ll be on my merry little way. I won’t even suck his blood a little bit, tempted as I may be. So what’s it gonna be?”

Percy shook his head. “She’s lying.”

“Yeah, I figured,” I said, and we attacked. Percy cut down a dracanae and I sliced through a few harpies before the other monsters could react.

Angel was so surprised she backed up quickly and fell down on her rump, her veil of beauty evaporating. “G-get them!”

So much happened at once; I was thankful for my ADHD, otherwise, I would have missed everything.

The harpies attacked Percy, but he was a whirlwind. He slashed his sword in a wide ark, sliced one harpy in half, and stabbed another one. The others retaliated, but no amount of clawing would damage Percy’s skin. He hacked and slashed at the harpies, cutting them down one at a time.

In the corner of my eye, I saw that red hot flames had engulfed the entire front of the cab, and was starting to spread towards the back.

The remaining dracanae came after me with a golden mace. She struck down at me, but I blocked it with the flat side of my sword. I rolled out of the way and stabbed her in the side. I grabbed her mace and flung it at one of the harpies fighting Percy, and through sheer luck I managed to strike her in between the eyes.

I had no time to question where the burst of precision came from. White hot pain erupted across the back of my shoulder. It was Angel, flashing her fangs and claws.

I lunged at her, bringing my blade down over her head like an executioner. She jumped back and swung her claws at me. I deflected her with the flat of my sword and pushed her away, slashing at her wildly.

Something felt...off as I was fighting her. I felt like I was on fire, but in a good way. The heat swallowed me completely. The burning sensation was fueling me — encouraging me— and I could fight forever. I wanted to fight forever.

I almost enjoyed it.

There was a crazed look in Angel’s eyes, almost akin to fear. It was like she wasn’t used to combat. I heard myself laugh.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed more and more monsters were coming over the hill, shrieking and howling with delight. More monsters to fight. More I could challenge.

I kicked the she-demon in the stomach, and sent her sprawling onto the green. A grin spread over my face. I stood over her, ready to deliver the final blow.

There was an explosion from the burning cab, a noise so loud that it vibrated my ear drums. My vision sharpened, which surprised me because I wasn’t even aware that my sight was blurry. My sudden burst of energy drained.

I blinked trying to remember what happened. I looked down at my sword, and for a moment I noticed that the red seaglass imbedded in the pommel of my sword was glowing the color of blood.

“Wha—”

I was tackled to the ground, the wind knocked out of me. My sword flew out of my hand. Angel’s poisonous eyes bore into me; her claws pierced my skin. I struggled to get from under her grasp, but the strength I’d felt only a while ago was gone.

I dully heard Percy call my name, followed by the sound of fighting.

A triumphant fire burned in Angel’s eyes. “Oh, I’m going to enjoy th—”

A golden arrow punctured her throat. The empousa turned to sand and scattered into the wind.

I turn to the direction where the arrow had flown from. Up on half blood hill stood Will Solace and a half a dozen of his siblings.

He ordered them to fired, and they all let loose their arrows, each successfully nailing a monster. Soon, there were nothing left but gross piles of sand and a burning car in the distance.

The Apollo cabin headed down the hill, Will leading the way. He gave the two of us a look. “Do you guys always have to make some big show whenever you arrive at camp?”

There was another loud explosion from the flaming car. Shrapnel rained down around it.

Will grimaced. “Apparently yes.”

~*~

Through the use of magical hoses, we were able to put out the fire, but the cab was done for. Chiron called for some Hephaestus kids to come dispose of it and told us not to worry. The cab company was about to receive a very generous donation.

Afterwards, Percy and I headed to the big house so that I could get fixed up. Everyone came up to us to know what had happened. Chiron dispersed them after he promised they would know during the campfire sing along that night. They didn’t seem too happy to have to wait, but eventually the crowd thinned out.

“The matter can be saved until tomorrow,” Chiron said after Percy and I told him the whole story. “You may keep the necklace in your possession, if you feel that the magic will not corrupt you. Until then, relax. Go to the infirmary, and enjoy the camp fire sing along tonight. You have done well, heroes.”

Percy told me he would meet me at dinner. He decided to stay at camp until after the necklace was destroyed the next day.

I followed Will into the infirmary. “I’m sick of meeting you in here,” he said.

“Get use to it,” I said. “I have a feeling I’ll be in here a lot.”

Will rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

In the infirmary, there was somebody already sleeping in one of the beds in a full body cast. They looked like the Michelin Man got his ass handed to him.

“Oh, gods!” I said to Will. “Is that Jake Mason? What happened to him?”

“The dragon went berserk. It happened while you were away.”

“Dragon? You mean Peleus?”

Will shook his head. “No, it was the metal dragon.”

“A metal dragon.” I sat on the empty bed and removed my hoodie. “When did we get one of those?”

He looked at me funny. “It's been here at least a year. How could you not have seen it?”

I shrugged. “My sight is selective, apparently. So where is this dragon now?”

“Somewhere in the woods. No one's sure, though. Cabin nine is laying down all sorts of traps.”

Will sighed, gathering his healing supplies. “It's been acting funny for a while now, ever since Beckendorf died, but I guess it finally snapped.”

I knew who Beckendorf was. In the last Titan War, he’d given up his life to destroy a boatload of monsters. He was one of Percy’s friends.

“Poor Jake, though,” I said “So I'm guessing Nyssa is in charge now?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I'll need her help in the forges. The last thing I want to do is burn down the whole camp.”

Will frowned. “What do to need the forges for?”

“I need to destroy something.” I rummaged through my bag and pulled out the necklace.

Will gasped. “Is that—”

“Yup.”

“I thought it was lost. How did you find it?”

I told Will the story, from meeting Hedylogos to being chased down by girls with depressingly low self esteem to stealing the cab to being attack near camp.

Will gaped at me. “You met the Erotes?”

“Erotes?”

“They're kind of like Eros's followers, but they hate being called that. If they're not with him or Aphrodite, they hang out together, making desperate girls swoon and drool all over themselves like complete morons.”

I rubbed the back of my head “Haha. Wouldn't that be… silly?”

“Oh.” Will looked like he was about to bust a gut. They got to you, didn’t they?”

My cheeks burned. “Shut up, Solace. Come fix me already.”

~*~

At dinner, I sacrificed part of my meal, thanking Poseidon for sending me some help.

I munched happily on brisket and olive pizza. Percy had his chalice filled with electric blue cherry coke. He had a cheese burger, made of only the freshest of bread and leanest of beef. Camp food tended to be pretty healthy.

Suddenly, I remembered that Percy was out eating when I ran into him earlier, and it occurred to me how horribly disruptive this whole ordeal must've been for him. He was completely sideswiped by this, and I never even thought for one moment that I might've interrupted Percy hanging out with his friends or family. I felt guilty for letting him help me (which was kind of dumb, since Percy wasn't the kind of person to let someone fend for themselves). Nevertheless, the guilt stuck.

“Hey, Percy?”

He looked up from his burger. “What's up?”

I sighed. “I'm sorry about today. Running from crazed monstrous femme fatales probably wasn't on your to do list.”

His eyes softened a degree. “Don't worry about it. We made it, right?”

“Still… ey, how about the next time I run into you we can go back to McHale’s on me?”

“Okay. It’s a deal,” he said, smiling.

I smiled back.

“You still haven’t told me why your skin is made of titanium,” I said.

Percy was quiet for a moment. “It’s the curse of Achilles.”

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I was speechless.

“Before the Batttle of Manhattan, Nico di Angelo convinced me to bathe in the River Styx. We were low on campers and needed to have an edge over the Titan army. I thought the idea was too dangerous. The Styx is too powerful. My soul would have been destroyed if I wasn’t able to think of the one thing that anchored me to my mortality.”

“What did you think about?” I asked not thinking that the question might be a bit personal.

Percy was quiet for a second before saying, “I saw Annabeth.”

“Oh. Well that’s awesome. Your skin is a suit of armor. Y’know, I have my own secret super power.”

I told Percy what happened the day of Hayden’s funeral, after Thetis escorted me off. I hadn’t told Percy about it, and my friends that did know about my power didn’t know the full story behind it.

I wiped my eyes as I finished.

“Wow,” was all that Percy said.

“I know, right? It’s sorta like pot, it gives me the munchies.”

He laughed and shook his head.

After dinner, Percy and I headed to the campfire for s'mores and the sing along. I sang along (quite horribly, thank you very much) about rowing my boat down the Styx, but something that Percy said stuck with me for whatever reason. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was in Percy’s place, what would anchor me?